Handel`s Messiah-“I thought I saw the face of God!”

December 24, 2009 by  
Filed under Music

George Friderick Handel iiMessiah, composed by George Frideric Handel, is often performed during the advent season. I have a London recording of Neville Marriner with the chorus of St Martin-In-The-Fields. The recording was made at St John`s, Smith Square, London in January and July of 1976. Christmas performances of Handel`s most popular work often only include Part I and the famous Hallelujah, which is the last track of Part II.

Legend has it that King George II stood to his feet at the Hallelujah section, so now the tradition is to stand up as George did, who in turn pays his reverence to the King of Kings (one king to another). Another story says that Handel`s assistant called out to him one time, but he did not respond. The assistant went to his chamber and found Handel in tears. Handel held up the score to the Hallelujah movement and said, “I thought I saw the face of God.” (Wiki)Handel`s House

Handel`s MuseMessiah was composed in the year of 1741. Handel wrote it rather rapidly, which was his usual modus operandi. It was penned in a timeframe of August 22nd to September 14th, 1741. The Libretto was written by Charles Jennens, and is taken from the King James and the Great Bibles. It`s done in a narrative form, not with dialogue. Its initial reception in London was lukewarm until 1750, when Handel gave two performances for the Foundling Hospital. The Foundling Hospital was a charity devoted to the care of ‘exposed and deserted young children.’ (linernotes-Decca-1995)  *(on the right, Handel`s house in London.)

I enjoy Handel`s Messiah, but it is very long. The twin London CD clocks in at 140 minutes & 23 seconds. I just sample sections of it. Messiah is scored for soprano, alto, tenor and bass soloists (vocal), SATB chorus, 2 oboes, bassoon, 2 trumpets, timpani, strings and basso continuo. The score is characterized by ‘word painting’,  a musical technique whereby the notes mimic the meaning of the words. Listen on: “…and every mountain and hill made low; the crooked straight and the rough places plain.”  Finish wrapping those presents, my friends, with Messiah in the background…

Lady Arrested For Tearing Dude’s Genitals

December 23, 2009 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“Police arrested a Winona woman Friday after she allegedly tugged a man’s genitals hard enough to cause a rip requiring stitches.

Sheila Mae Baker, 54, was referred to the county attorney for possible charges of third degree assault, domestic assault and interfering with a 911 call. Police said that she was intoxicated and arguing with a man on the 850 block of East Fifth Street when the incident occurred.

The man told police that Baker had been drinking and was angry, and he was trying to stay out of her way. He said that he was in the kitchen when Baker came in to add ice to her drink, grabbed his genitals and pulled.”


This twisted tale makes a man cross his legs, and cover his genitals.

I got mad one time when a lady friend of mine tore the sports page from my hands, she claimed I wasn’t paying attention to her. If a lady friend ever pulls on my genitals with such force that I need stitches, I would kick  her to the curb, press charges, and sue her.

If this evil woman yanked on this dude’s manhood because he didn’t get out of her way quickly enough, imagine what she will do the hapless guy if he doesn’t satisfy her in bed.

Dude, you need to break up with this witch immediately.

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Dude Gets 12 Years For Killing & Eating Wild Tiger

December 22, 2009 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A man who killed and ate what may have been the last wild Indochinese tiger in China was sentenced to 12 years in jail, local media reported on Tuesday.
Kang Wannian, a villager from Mengla, Yunnan Province, met the tiger in February while gathering freshwater clams in a nature reserve near China’s border with Laos. He claimed to have killed it in self-defense.
The only known wild Indochinese tiger in China, photographed in 2007 at the same reserve, has not been seen since Kang’s meal, the Yunnan-based newspaper Life News reported earlier this month.”
If someone killed and ate Tiger Woods most people would just chalk it up to karma. But this story about a man who killed and ate what may have been the last Indochinese tiger in China makes my blood boil.
I believe in an “eye for an eye”, Wannian should have been put through a beef shredder, and fed to the tigers and lions in a zoo.
Nevertheless this inhuman monster did receive a stiff sentence, and hopefully it will serve as a deterrent. The next time a fool has a craving for an exotic animal, he will think twice before breaking the law.
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RIP Sweet Angel Brittany Murphy

December 22, 2009 by  
Filed under Celebrity, Top Story

“The death of Brittany Murphy at the tender age of 32 came as a shock to her many fans, hopefully it will serve as a wakeup call to Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan and the numerous other celeb train wrecks.

It may be weeks before we know what caused Murphy’s cardiac arrest, but we already know that in all likelihood she was a drug addict. Wire services have reported that the troubled actress had a large amount of prescription medications in her home when she died.”

Read entire article at: http://newsblaze.com/story/20091222110533reye.nb/topstory.html

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Top Ten Songs of 2009

December 22, 2009 by  
Filed under Music

the eternal sonic youthMusic critics are compiling their Best Of Lists for 2009 now, like the critics over at The New York Times. Sunday`s edition saw lists from Jon Pareles, Ben Ratliff (Jazz), Nate Chinen and Jon Caramanica. I`m reviewing their picks to see what they most value. I was surprised by the number of bands that I have still not experienced yet. The Grizzly Bears look interesting. As do the Dirty Projectors and Animal Collective. I`ll need to get with it!

Nevertheless, I did experience around a million other projects this year, so I`ll give you my Top Ten Songs of 2009 for now.

10. Party in the USA-Miley Cyrus This Bubblegum Ditty has been careening through the circuit board of every dude or chick that stomps the sacred soil of Mother Earth. Our Miley-Songbird has pipes that shatter champagne glasses and rattle subway platforms. Everybody is all the way with this one!

9. The Fixer-Pearl JamWhen Somethings cold, Lemme put a little fire on it. Backspacer easily had the best art work, by Tom Tomorrow. The Fixer, along with a strong cup of Java, will blast you out of the sack, and give you a shot of adrenalin to wrestle a bear with and maybe even take out the trash.

8. Baby Boomer-Monsters of Folk I picked this one up at Starsbucks as a freebie on itunes. Very catchy! I keep listening for the line about Vietnam. The way they exchange vocals here reminds me of The Travelin` Wilburys.

7. Hang You From The Heavens-The Dead Weather-Good vocals by Allison Mosshart and great guitar by Dean Fertitta. I Cut Like A Buffalo will blow you off your computer stool too!

6. Poison Arrow-Sonic Youth-Yes, I`ve included two Sonic Youth cuts. The Eternal is a must have!

5. Tomorrow Never Knows– Revolver-The Beatles-John`s reading on The Tibetan Book of the Dead along with a little pill that Timothy Leary use to promote. Simply the most original and influential Beatles song! I think of it as a new release with the re-masters! That`s not cheating. It`s not really a reissue since it`s completely remastered with new pics and documentary features. Revolver is one peak too.

4. Scumbag Blues-Them Crooked Vultures-Rock is resurrected from the dead with Them Crooked Vultures! Discover and nurture these 15 cuts.

3. Anti-Orgasm-Sonic YouthThe Eternal is maybe the best album for 2009. The return of punk is consummated. Not in an incubator, fully realized Art-Punk. Love the cover, a swirling ball of fire, right out of an astronomy textbook.

2. Bad Romance-Lady Gaga-You must include the video with this one. Arty and commercial in the same breath. Nice music, great dancing and she`s helping the economy too. Gaga is a compilation of disco, pop and avant garde art, but she`s totally original. Gaga is our Rubik`s Cube for the 21st Century!

1. Wild Horses-Susan Boyle-I would skip this track when playing The Stones` Sticky Fingers. But it`s one of Jagger/Richards best songs, really. When Susan sings it you can hear the lyrics clearly. It`s just unusual to hear Susan Boyle sing it. You immediately hit replay to see if you can figure it out this time. Highlight of the year.

Drunk Dude Pays $72 For Taco Bell Taco

December 21, 2009 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff


“Employees at the Taco Bell in Ohio were shocked when a young man gave them $72 for a taco and refused to take his money back.
The manager was so shocked that he called the police in attempt to give him his change back, as he appeared to be drunk and only had one taco.”
The man wished employees “Merry Christmas” before leaving the restaurant.
If I were a fast food employee slaving away preparing tacos and chalupas, and an intoxicated fool gave me $72 for a taco, I would say “Muchas Gracias” and keep the damn money.
The anal-retentive manager should’nt have called the cops, he should have shared the money with his employees. An alcoholic with a yen for tacos doesn’t deserve any sympathy or consideration.
The employees at that Taco Bell should stuff smash a chalupa on their manager’s face and quit their jobs.

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Aussie Restaurant Closes After Poor Review

December 21, 2009 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A Sydney restaurant which blamed a scathing review for receiving hundreds of cancellations and being forced to close lost its defamation case against the food critic and his newspaper.
The owners of the now-defunct Coco Roco had sued Sydney Morning Herald journalist Matthew Evans over a 2003 piece which said its dishes “jangled like a car crash” and were “simply unpalatable”.
But Supreme Court Justice Ian Harrison said the critic and the newspaper were entitled to comment about the restaurant, which went into receivership early the following year.”
The Supreme Court’s ruling is an important victory for freedom of the press and common sense. When a food critic evaluates a restaurant’s offering, liability concerns shouldn’t be on the back of his mind. I don’t want a critic raving about an establishment’s dried and chewy New York steak, because he doesn’t want to be sued.
If I ever go on a vacation Down Under, and a culinary critic raves about a diner’s Dingo Burger, I know that he is giving his honest opinion.
The Coco Roco deserved to go out of business, and the restaurant critic deserves praise for telling it like it is.
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“Merry Christmas, Darling”-Ho! Ho! Ho! Cozy Carpenters Comin` Down the Smokestack

December 21, 2009 by  
Filed under Music

carpenters christmas portraitI have the 1984 edition of the Carpenters Christmas Portrait, which includes both of their 1970s Christmas albums. Their hit, Merry Christmas, Darling, Karen and Richard Carpenterwhich was co-written by Richard Carpenter, has been re- recorded here, and Karen`s performance is not quite as awesome as an earlier 1970 single. I have included the single jacket, with those attractive Mop-Top hairdos. I`d love to hear that earlier version of Merry Christmas, Darling, so I will snoop around the record bins looking for it.

There are 21 songs in this package, but much of it is filler, instrumental musak, but serves as a pleasant backdrop *(for decorating your tree or wrapping presents). Karen`s performance on Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas is signature Carpenters. And I dare anyone to top her Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire (Christmas Song)? Did you carpenters merry christmas, darlingknow that the Carpenters were the number one selling music act of the 1970s? That shocks me.

When the Carpenters were actually happening we would make fun of them. Hard Rock was the going thing at that time, and this sweet duo was an easy listening or soft pop act. I regret my insensitivity now. They were quite wonderful to listen to. There`s pathos in Karen`s voice that breaks you up, makes tears stream in rivers down your puffy cheeks. I will look for the movie The Karen Carpenter Story and a best of the Carpenters would make an excellent stocking stuffer for me! Hint hint hint… Happy Holidays! (source-Wiki)

OMG: Tiger Woods Pretended To Be Nerdy Innocent In Topless Bars

December 20, 2009 by  
Filed under Sports, Top Story

Orlando-based Corona Cigar Co. said it is offering the embattled golfer a $100,000 endorsement deal.

That means the company is willing to have its name attached to a guy who isn’t even playing golf right now, so he can clean up his act and save his family.” Allison Walker/http://www.cfnews13.com/

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but when the skank crazy Tiger Woods is brandishing a cigar it can only be interpreted as a phallic symbol.

Read entire article at: http://newsblaze.com/story/20091219152757reye.nb/topstory.html

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Neither FOX nor ABC has “Forgotten” Kim Bauer

December 20, 2009 by  
Filed under Celebrity, Movies/TV

While onscreen father Kiefer Sutherland is saving the world once more on 24, Elisha Cuhbert will be in the Windy City for a recurring role on ABC’s The Forgotten.  The actrees will portray an attorney skeptical of ex-cop Alex Donovan (Christian Slater)’s volunteer investigators, but must put that aside when she becomes the focus of one of their cases. 

The series is based on real-life accounts of The Network, a victims’ rights group that aids law enforcement in idenitfying John and Jane Does.  It has recently been picked up for five more episodes.

The Forgotten airs Tuesday nights at 10pm on ABC.
The new season of 24 premieres January 2010 on FOX.

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