Dude Calls Cops After Van Locks Him In

October 29, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

Police in Missouri said a man called 911 to report the wind had locked him inside of his own van.

Gladstone police said the man called Wednesday and said he had been in the back of his van when the wind blew and closed the back doors, which can’t be opened from the inside.’”

UPI

This was a commercial van, and there was a metal screen dividing the passenger compartment from the back of the vehicle.

Hell would have to freeze over before I would call the cops to rescue me from such a ridiculous predicament.

I would have kicked the back door until it opened or I broke both of my legs.

Fortunately for the idiot, his friend showed up to free him before the cops arrived.

Will Kendrick Meek Drop Out of Florida Senate Race?

October 29, 2010 by  
Filed under Celebrity, Top Story

It sure would be a good thing if the Democrats could find a way to block the young Latin Tea Party upstart, Marco Rubio, from winning the senate seat in Florida. It`s rumored that Bill Clinton discussed the possibility of Kendrick Meek`s dropping out of the race (with Meek), to put their support behind Charlie Crist, and spoil Rubio`s bid for the senate. Kendrick Meek denies this rumor, and plans on fighting to the end.

Only four more days for this to happen. Meek only has 15% of the vote in most polls. If he and Crist banded together, they could curtail the ambitious Rubio, whose head is filled with some very crazy notions. This sacrifice by Meek would be a noble deed for the Democratic Party. Charlie Crist looks liberal when compared to Marco Rubio. I hate to see the Sunshine State go down this path.

*Details in The Washington Post-Aide: Clinton tried to tell Meek to quit by Anne E. Kornblut.

Lady Hit By Errant Golf Ball In Her Yard

October 28, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A Florida woman called police to report a golf ball struck her in the head while she was bouncing on a trampoline in her back yard, which borders a golf course.

Police said the woman was advised the incident was not a criminal matter and officers suggested she contact the pro shop at the golf course.”

UPI

Hello! If your house borders a golf course, getting struck by an errant golf ball is par for the course.

What the hell is a grown woman doing playing on a trampoline anyway? Trampolines are for children, period!

This woman deserved to be struck on her head by a golf ball. She should be charged with making a prank call, she shouldn’t have called the cops.

Wicked Old Folks Turn Library Into An Animal House

October 27, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“About 60 senior citizens protested at a Florida library where a 10-year-old weekly current events discussion group was canceled after a heated incident.

The seniors gathered Tuesday at the Delray Beach Public Library to protest the cancellation of the weekly group without discussion leaders being consulted, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported Wednesday.

Library officials said the group had a history of unruly behavior, including frequent shouting matches and a fist fight in the parking lot.”

UPI

I don’t blame library officials for cancelling the senior citizens’ discussion group. Many individuals have been asked to leave a library for speaking in a loud tone, these elderly thugs had shouting matches, and fist fights in the parking lot.

The last straw was when a wicked old lady gave some other old coot the finger. The library administrators simply couldn’t allow their hallowed sanctuary to become an Animal House.

These devilish old folks can take out their aggression at a Bingo hall. To heck with the lot of them.

Lady Celebrates 110th Birthday! Lard Cracklings Secret To Long Life?

October 26, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A Miami woman approaching her 110th birthday said roast pork, lard cracklings and sweets are still big parts of her diet.

Gertrudis Balsinde, who is preparing to celebrate her 110th birthday Nov. 17, said her grandmother died at the age of 108, El Nuevo Herald reported Tuesday.”

UPI

When I hear a really old person say, “the secret to long life is watching my diet, abstaining from liquor, and going to bed before 9:00 pm, I want to gag. Who the hell wants to live a long life if you have to pay such a high price?

It’s better to eat, drink and be merry and die young, than to live like a monk and die at a ripe old age.

Gertrudis didn’t live like a nun, girlfriend is still munching on roast pork and sweets I don’t know what lard cracklings are, but they sound delicious!

Happy Birthday Gertrudis!

Woman Protester Stomped on the Head by Rand Paul Bully!

October 26, 2010 by  
Filed under Top Story

I predict that by tonight the video of a woman (Lauren Valle) from MoveOn.org being stomped on the head by a rough-ie-en supporter of Rand Paul will go virile. The debate between Rand Paul and Jack Conway will be all but forgotten, while the brutal foot crushing the skull of poor Lauren Valle will be viewed over and over again, leaving the senatorial candidates behind in the dust.

Lauren Valle was going to present an “employee of the month award” from Republicorp to Rand Paul as he arrived for the debates in Louisville. Republicorp is a fake business concept created by MoveOn.org to demonstrate the merger between the GOP and Big Business that controls free speech.

Lauren`s voice of protest was silenced and oppressed by a bully vigilante, who actually makes Rand Paul look bad. The incident was reported by Valle to the police. Hopefully, this ROUGH-HOUSER will be arrested, he deserves it. Stomping on a woman`s head is assault. You can watch the video here on this Salon.com article.

Nine Siblings Reach 50th Weddding Anniversary Milestone

October 25, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A New York woman celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary is the last of nine siblings who’ve all reached the same milestone, her family said.

All eight siblings of Carol Buncy, 73, are still alive, most are in good health and only one has suffered the loss of a spouse, The Buffalo (N.Y.) News reported Sunday.”

UPI

To have so many siblings is a very rare occurrence, and for all of the nine siblings to have reached the milestone of being married for fifty years is a miracle.

However I’d rather be dead than have nine siblings. My parents were dirt-poor, and I didn’t consider it a privilege to have four siblings. Every night I prayed that one of my siblings would be abducted by a UFO, never to return.

I can’t think of a more wretched fate than to be married for 50 freakin’ years. After being married for such a long time divorce is out of the question, and only death can free Carol from the agony of being with the same person for such a hell of a long time.

Happy 50th wedding anniversary!

A Violent Overthrow of Obama Government Okayed by Stephen Broden!

October 24, 2010 by  
Filed under Celebrity, Top Story

“Our nation was founded on violence, the option is on the table. I don`t think we should ever remove anything from the table as it relates to our liberties and our freedoms.” Pastor Stephen Broden

I was surprised to read a piece in The Daily Mail about the Republican Tea Party candidate, Stephen Broden, running for a House Seat in Dallas against Democrat, Eddie Bernice Johnson. Since when were the English interested in volatile Texas politics? But the outrageousness of Broden`s comment about the feasibility of an insurrection against the Obama Government, and coming from another black man, must have been shocking to our friends across the Pond.

I found two facts equally as shocking. One, is that The Dallas Morning News did, at one time, endorse this nut case. True, they had the common sense to withdraw this un-vetted endorsement. Two, would be a comment made by the head of the Dallas County Republican Party, Jonathan Neerman, when reacting to Broden`s overtures of revolution, said:  “It is a disappointing, isolated incident.”

Isolated? Hardly! Tea Party candidates blurt out these gaffes every week. Let us not forget when Sharron Angle recently suggested we might have to use ‘Second Amendment remedies’ (Lock and Load) to neutralize an over-aggressive federal government. Okay, let`s add in Sarah Palin, though she disguises it in code. And now Glen Beck claims he never really knew Stephen Broden, even though the pastor had been on his show 5 or 6 times.

I`m glad to see this story go virile. People are not really paying that much attention to this growing aggregation of kook-cases. It`s dangerous to enter the voting booth without the rotten apples from this tree of knowledge. *P.S. (Michelle Bachmann is denying she knew Broden also. Find the incriminating evidence for yourself.)

Halloween Insanity: Cops Question Ghost Walking Down The Road

October 22, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“Police in Florida said a motorist called police to report a ‘ghost’ walking alongside the road in Brevard County.

The Titusville Police Department said officers surrounded a sheet-covered man walking along state Road 405 at 8:45 a.m. Thursday and asked about his mode of dress, WESH-TV, Orlando, Fla., reported Friday.

Police said the man told them he was wearing the ghost costume to avoid a sunburn and was allowed to continue on his way.”

UPI

The man who called the cops about a “ghost walking” should be charged with making a frivolous phone call to the police.

The idiot should have known that it wasn’t a real ghost, the ethereal beings hover, they don’t walk. If the clown really thought it was a ghost he should have called one of those cable TV shows that specialize in the supernatural, and not the cops.

The ghost made more sense that the jackass who called the cops, a sheet is a perfect way to protect you from sunburn, it covers you from head to toe.

Life-Size Replica Of Comatose Ariel Sharon Freaking People Out

October 21, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A life-size art installation of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon lying comatose in a hospital bed, by Israeli artist Noam Braslavsky, is displayed before the opening in the Kishon Gallery in Tel Aviv, October 19, 2010. Ariel Sharon has been in a coma since suffering a massive stroke in January 2006

UPI

There is nothing more grotesque and weird than a life-size replica of 82-year-old comatose patient, Ariel Sharon.

I take that back, there is nothing more evil and twisted than keeping alive an 82-year-old comatose man. For God’s sake, for all intents and purposes Sharon died almost five years ago, pull the damn plug!

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