Frozen Turkey Seized From Airline Passenger

December 31, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

Officials at an airport in the Welsh capital said a 10-pound frozen turkey was seized from the carry-on bag of a passenger headed for Spain.

Cardiff Airport officials said the turkey was taken and the man was told perishable foodstuffs are not allowed on international flights without official permission, The Sun reported Thursday.


UPI


I’m traveling to Spain, let’s see what do I need to put in my carry-on bag? Toiletries, a good book, a couple of snacks, and oh yes, a frozen turkey!


The guy thought “no harm, no fowl”, it’s just a bird. But a frozen turkey can be a formidable weapon. I’d rather face-off against a man brandishing a bat than a dude with a frozen turkey.


Dear Lord, what a turkey, the dude should have been kicked to the curb.

Virginia Beach Woman Celebrates 109th Birthday

December 30, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

A Virginia woman who marked her 109th birthday days after her 108th Christmas said her longevity is the result of her happy, normal life.

Charlotte Cromwell of Virginia Beach, who celebrated her birthday Tuesday at the Sentara Windemere Nursing Home, said long life is all about taking the correct path, WAVY-TV, Portsmouth, Va., reported Wednesday.”

UPI

Congratulations to Charlotte for a long, happy and normal life.

But different strokes for different folks… It’s impossible for an intelligent person to be happy, I settle for a life that’s always dreary and sometimes tolerable.

The last thing I want to be is normal, it’s weird and unconventional individuals who change the world. I’m not interested in taking the “correct path”, I want to go where nobody has gone before.

Hopefully Charlotte was just uttering words to please the media, and in her dresser  she keeps a bottle of liquor and a pack of cigarettes.

Moron Burglars Steal TV: Too Big For Getaway Caar

December 29, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

Authorities in California said a trio of would-be TV thieves were foiled by the small size of their intended getaway car.

Sacramento police said the burglars took the TV from a Sedley Court home about 4 p.m. PST Sunday and left the large set on the sidewalk when it would not fit in their Lexus, The Sacramento Bee reported Tuesday.


UPI


The idiots should have chosen an inconspicuous pickup or large sedan as a getaway vehicle, instead of a luxury Lexus that draws a lot of attention.


The hapless burglars were too stupid to realize that the TV was to large to fit in their car, that’s the type of mistake that guarantees that they will never be successful burglars.


If the burglar owns the Lexus, and didn’t steal it, then he is stealing just for kicks.


Of course the idiots have already been caught by the police.

Dude Makes Guitars From Cigar Boxes

December 29, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

An Illinois man who has created 17 guitars from cigar boxes said he is also making a mandolin from the boxes and is now aiming to create a dulcimer.

New Lenox grandfather Chuck Meyer said he only played guitar for about 10 minutes when he was a teenager but his interest in the instrument was reignited when he saw a video on the Internet about cigar box guitars last year, the Chicago SouthtownStar reported Tuesday.

UPI


Most videos on YouTube feature cats being adorable and kids being obnoxious, but viewing videos on the popular video sharing site isnt’ a total waste of time.


A man learned how to make guitars from cigar boxes, and his friends and family are the beneficiaries of his talent and creativity.


I once saw a video on YouTube depicting a guy creating a bong, but I could never find the energy to put my bag of Doritos down and try to create my own bong.


I Discover The Black Angels and ‘Phosphene Dream’-Flower Power Is Alive and Kickin`!

December 28, 2010 by  
Filed under Music, Top Story

I just discovered The Black Angels a few weeks back when I sampled some tracks of Phosphene Dream on an ipod station at Waterloo Records. From the half-dozen reviews I`ve read online of this rippling new slab of psychedelia this appears to be a good thing. A new discipline is upon them. They have honed their sound down and cut out some of the driftwood of excessive jamming, that can sometimes hamper a band from achieving a more crystallized product, that better avoid clichés like the bubonic plague.

Still processing the songs; this is the type of music I played when I was a kid, so I`m a pretty good judge of it. Yellow Elevator # 2, with its transcendental lyrics and its tapestry of harmonies drenched in reverb, is my favorite song, so far. Sunday Afternoon must be the one with the electric jug, ala Thirteenth Floor Elevators-breaks into a psych-rock frenzy in the final sixteen bars, or so. River Of Blood is more of a lavalamp/blacklight (with posters too) ditty, oh, with a little incense burning from your closest local head shop.

These kids are cracking the books, doing their homework and gettin` all that great old stuff out of their uncle`s closet and soakin` it up like a sponge. Hopefully, they got the Nuggets Box Set, and it sounds like they do. But there`s something else going on here that sounds more original, and a bit more pop inflected. I`m hearing some Jesus and Mary Chain in there, or even some Vanilla Fudge. I don`t know exactly what the references are, but whatever it is, it`s just the right stuff for this ragged old Shitty Beatle. Keep up the good work, lads and lassies. Carry these traditions into our next generation of pioneers (but lay off the drugs & juice). *(The two best reviews I could find for you are this one on Quietus and a good one on Pop Matters).

Hero Husband Delivers Baby On Highway Shoulder

December 27, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

An Ohio woman gave birth on the shoulder of a highway with her husband serving as obstetrician.

Janice Davis gave birth to the couple’s third child and first daughter Thursday evening on Interstate 75. The couple were about halfway to Christ Hospital in Cincinnati when she realized she and her husband had run out of time.

Her husband pulled over, called 911 and then helped his wife deliver baby Julianne as he crouched along side their sport utility vehicle.


UPI


This is a Christmas miracle — Janice and her husband will never be blessed with  a more wonderful Xmas present than their little bundle of joy.


The husband should be commended for grace under pressure, I’d rather handle radioactive waste or clean a septic tank than attempt to deliver a baby.


Mother and baby are doing just fine, Christ Hospital should consider hiring Jason Davis as an obstetrician.


Merry Christmas to the Davis family!



Brian Eno`s ‘Small Craft On A Milk Sea’-A Welcome Return To Ambient Music

December 25, 2010 by  
Filed under Music, Top Story

Small Craft On A Milk Sea is Brian Eno`s first project on his new label, Warp Records. Brian collaborates with Jon Hopkins, who plays piano, keyboards and electronics, and with Leo Abrahams, who plays guitar, laptop and guitaret. The credits say that Brian commandeers the computers, which may mean he does a little bit of everything. I absolutely adore this record, since it reminds me of the old days in the late 1970s, when we got the brilliant Music For Films and Music For Airports. These are my favorite Eno, even more so than the pop stuff.

I still play both of those records all the time, since they provide fantastic background music to fuel efforts for writing and typing out a few vapors of thought on a blank white computer slab. Oddly enough, I`m freed of writer`s block whenever I have some of Brian`s ambient music on my stereo. Small Craft is the latest addition to my collection of Eno soundscapes, that stimulate your imagination in different ways every time you listen. But one consistency with Small Craft is the recurring theme of extraterrestrial phantasms preoccupy one`s living space!

This one makes me feel as if I`ve returned to Roswell, New Mexico and I`m wandering around the exhibits at the UFO Museum on the drag. I took a vacation through that spooky town in about 1999 and I recall the museum was located in what looked like an old, abandoned movie house. Saw some tiny green men lying dead in the pastures the first time I put Small Craft on my stereo. Or Klaatu comes to mind from The Day The Earth Stood Still, commanding us humans to get our act together.

I pulled out my Rough Guide To Sci-Fi Movies a few minutes back to search for good titles to watch with the soundtrack down, and Brian Eno way up. Okay, I`ll stop acting stupid, but this can easily be described as a UFO type of music to me. While most of these tracks are baffling to me, so far, one thing I`ve noticed is the tracks shuffle back and forth from passive, tranquil affairs, over to tense, combustible mood pieces. This alternating yin/yang diversity is pleasing to our natures. And I love the futuristic artwork too, done by Nick Robertson.

Let`s see, I better reflect some more on these tracks, maybe I missed something, maybe I missed the point entirely, you never know. But if I listen to this several more times tonight, I may just have my own Roswell experience under the sheets this Christmas night. Won`t you join me in a Flying Saucer Soiree this Xmas Eve? *(Thorough, positive review on Pop Matters.)

Japan Airlines Introduces Bamboo Wheelchairs

December 23, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“Japan Airlines (JAL) has come up with a novel way to help wheelchair users avoid setting off metal detectors at airport security gates — by offering them bamboo wheelchairs instead.

AFP

Traveling by plane is a cumbersome and unpleasant ordeal for everyone, but especially for wheelchair-bound passengers. Individuals using wheelchairs have to put up with an invasive full body check every time they fly because their wheelchairs always sets off the security alarm. Imagine if you had to undergo this humiliating experience every time you traveled by plane.

I commend Japan Airlines for thinking outside the box, and coming up with this unique way to make travel by air a more enjoyable experience for disabled passengers.

I hope American airlines will consider using bamboo or plastic wheelchairs.

Snowbound German Airports Hires Clowns!

December 22, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“With travellers frazzled by hundreds of flightcancellations, Germany’s busiest airport has hired clowns to help them and their children pass the hours, a spokeswoman said Monday.

‘Four clowns are performing in the terminal halls,’ the spokeswoman for Frankfurt’s international airport told AFP.

‘We came up with the idea for the kids, who are finding the delays particularly trying.’

The clowns, outfitted in brightly coloured costumes and some parading on stilts, started working over the weekend, when heavy snowfall led to hundreds of flights being scrapped amid chaos in the European air traffic network.

AFP

Four clowns roaming the terminal halls is exactly what the tired and frustrated passengers don’t need. If I were a tired and weary passenger and a clown engaged in his silly shenanigans in front of me, I would release all my frustrations by beating him to a bloody pulp.

Clowns tend to scare the heck out of kids, frazzled parents don’t need the additional stress of putting up with terrified children.

The airport should fire the clowns and hire four exotic dancers to take their place, passengers would appreciate them a lot more than a bunch of stupid clowns.

Idiot Robber Drops Cellphone During Robbery

December 21, 2010 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

Police in Florida said an attempted robber was arrested after apparently dropping his cellphone during a struggle with his intended victim.


Investigators said Ryan Haynes, 19, of Largo, pulled a gun on a mentally handicapped McDonald’s employee outside the restaurant Sunday night and demanded money, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Tuesday.

Police said the victim was forced to the ground after telling the robber he didn’t have any money and Haynes attempted to take his car keys. However, the victim fought back and Haynes fled, apparently dropping his cellphone in the process.


UPI


The victim may have been mentally handicapped, but its Haynes who is the moron in this incident. The robber dropped his cellphone in the struggle with his victim, and the cops used the phone to identify Haynes as the suspect and he was quickly apprehended.


Not only is Haynes an idiot, but like most thugs he’s also a coward who preys on the weak.


Haynes is a klutz, and I bet he will drop his soap in the showers. He’s going to be walking bowl-legged when he gets out of prison.

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