Evil Politician Upset Ferry Workers Get Paid Double To Clean Vomit

March 23, 2011 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A Washington state senator wants to do away with the ‘vomit clause’ for ferry workers, which offers double pay for cleaning up hazardous materials.

State Sen. Mary Margaret Haugen, D-Camano Island, said she wants to get rid of the rule, commonly called the “vomit clause,” as part of plans to tackle the state’s budget problems, KOMO-TV, Seattle, reported Tuesday.

UPI

This state senator makes me want to hurl, politicians always try to balance the budget at the expense of the working poor and the middle class.

Ferry workers should be paid double for cleaning up vomit and other hazardous materials. If the good senator wants to save the state money, she should volunteer to clean up the vomit.

But that might not me such a good idea after all, ferry passengers might vomit at the sight of the cold-blooded politician. There would be too much vomit for one  person to clean up.

Dastardly Dude Steals Money From Girl Scouts

March 22, 2011 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“Leaders of an Illinois Girl Scout troop said at least $1,500 in donations have poured in since the theft of $417 in cookie proceeds.

Lynn Rogers, one of the four leaders for Troop 1347 in Cary, said the money was taken while the girls were packing up their cookies Saturday outside of a store in preparation for another troop to come in.


UPI


People who commit horrific or outrageous acts get all the attention, but I’m convinced that there’s more good people than bad in the world. For every cowardly creep who steals money from hard-working Girl Scouts there’s a dozen solid citizens who are more than willing to make up the difference.

I hope that the thief will be caught and sentenced to jail, his fellow jailbirds would make his life behind bars a living hell.

Unfortunately, the bad guy will probably get away with his dastardly crime, there were no security cameras outside the store where the girls were selling their cookies. I guess in a cruel world that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Bride From Hell Arrested After Wedding Brawl

March 22, 2011 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“Police in Arizona, responding to a report of a brawl at a backyard wedding, said the bride was arrested in her wedding dress after kicking an officer.

The bride, Angela Davito, 28, of Mesa, was arrested after charging a wedding guest and kicking an officer. She was arrested on suspicion of assault and obstructing governmental operation.”


UPI

The groom’s first order of business should be to anul the wedding. The groom should kick his wedding gown clad bride to the curb, where she belongs.

If a woman isn’t intimidated by a police officer, she won’t have any respect for her husband. Being married to this witch would be hell on Earth.

If the dude doesn’t get rid of his wife, I have a feeling the police will be making frequent visits to their home because she will treat him like a punching bag.

Ancient Astronauts ‘Into Bass and Time’ Will Send You To Other Galaxies!

March 21, 2011 by  
Filed under Music, Top Story

When attempting to find a tight fit for me, in terms of units making a splash on SXSW, I must dance and dodge the beaucoup H Bombs that will only make a beeline to my ominous cut-out bin of CDs, that looks more like a landfill than an audio library, and unfortunately enjoys only a one-play shelf-life. A convoluted way of saying, as I get older, I`m more and more pickie, and don`t much relish many projects that come down the pike.

A rare winner for me, is Ancient Astronauts and their new one, Into Bass and Time. The AA`s are: Kabanjak and Dogu, from Cologne, Germany. Can`t find much about them on the internet, but I`m really diggin` their record. You can, however, find lots of stuff on this hair-brained idea that spacemen have come down to ancient man and intervened in history. I`ve half-watched some of this programming on the History Channel.

Into Bass and Time would be appropriate listening while you research some of this zaniness. Some hip-hop, some rap and lots of other-worldly sounds will greet you as you gaze in awe at Sumerian artifacts, where dorky looking stone-dudes wear space helmets, or marvel over the spacie Moia of Easter Island. The only music that comes to mind is Sun Ra, but somehow this is different. How do you research a band like this? Good scratchin` on Still A Soldier.

Kurt Vile`s ‘Smoke Ring For My Halo’ Plays On My Stereo!

March 18, 2011 by  
Filed under Music, Top Story

Yesterday was crazy as hell, it was St. Patrick`s Day and SXSW is ragin` out of control! At my lunch break I raced over to Waterloo Records with the lamed-brained idea that I would pick up a couple of discs, new issues, from bands that are playin` at SXSW. Waterloo was crowded with ‘In Stores,’ and you couldn`t even move about. Didn`t see what band the groupies were ogling over?

Some of the records I was looking for were irretrievable for all the humanity. Specifically, I was searchin` for Ha Ha Tonka`s Death of A Decade, a Missouri band that caught my eye. I don`t believe Death of A Decade has been released yet? I did manage to get Kurt Vile`s new one, Smoke Ring For My Halo, and am enjoying it even as I type. Got Chico Trujillo`s Chico de Oro and the Ancient Astronauts` Into Bass and Time also.

I`m going to walk over to the Auditorium Shores free stage tomorrow and see Kurt Vile`s 3:30 PM performance. On a second listen, Smoke Ring For My Halo is getting better and better (I seemed to be in a testy mood last night). Calm as a Box Turtle this morning.  I didn`t know the mix console could get that much reverb and echo? I`m a reverb freak anyway, so that`s no problem for me.

And the record has a nice booklet with it where each song`s instrument assignments are documented for you. Also, the lyrics are printed; Kurt Vile mumbles in a strange street vernacular, so it helps to see the printed words. My favorite song so far is the last one, Ghost Town. (Although an interesting sound effect trailer acts as final footnote).

Fisherman Donates Monster Lobster To Aquarium

March 17, 2011 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“One of the biggest and oldest lobsters ever caught in Britain has been saved from the pot and will live out the rest of its long life in an aquarium.

The massive crustacean measures close to one metre (3 feet) in length and weighs more than 4 kg (9 lb).

‘He’s a fantastic specimen and by his size alone he has got to be at least 50 years old, said Lindsay Holloway of the Blue Reef aquarium in Portsmouth, where the lobster now lives.

Reuters

The monster lobster was caught by a fisherman who donated the amazing creature to the aquarium. Most persons would have brought the giant crustacean home to a happy family.

The Reuters article states that the lobster was caught by a “compassionate angler fishing for sole.” If the angle had genuine compassion he would have released the lobster so he wouldn’t spend the rest of his life trapped in a small aquarium.

Who wants to eat a 50-year-old lobster anyway, he probably tastes like an old shoe. But this story has made me hungry, I think I’m going To Red Lobster.




Moron Burglar Gets Caught In Hamper

March 16, 2011 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A would-be burglar climbed through a window but became stuck in a laundry hamper, Arizona police say.

Michael Trias, 20, was arrested Thursday on suspicion of burglary and criminal damage, Mesa, Ariz., police told the East Valley Tribune of Mesa.


A resident in the bathroom heard the racket, and the owner tackled the suspect and held him until police arrived.


UPI

Duh! The moron should have made sure the residents weren’t home before he broke in.

What a tool, I hope grandma’s dirty drawers were in the hamper!

I would have closed the lid of the hamper with duct tape with the burglar inside until the cops showed up.

The idiot should learn a new profession while he’s in jail, maybe he can master the art of taking candy from a baby.

Dude Complains To Cop: Cocaine Dealer Cheated Me!

March 16, 2011 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“East Hartford police said Antonio Recinos, 35, called 911 at about 1 a.m. Sunday to say he had been ‘cheated’ after paying $40 for 0.4 gram of cocaine, The Hartford Courant reported Tuesday.


Investigators said Recinos later approached an officer on patrol and showed him the baggie of cocaine he had earlier purchased. The suspect, who appeared to have been drinking, told the officer he had not received enough cocaine for what he paid.”

UPI

It’s a big mistake to complain to a drug dealer that he cheated you, he might shoot your behind. But it’s also stupid to complain to a cop, you will end up behind bars for your troubles.

Recinos needs to switch to weed, if a stoner gets cheated by his dealer he will eat more Doritas and mutter “sh** happens.”

The lesson of this story is crystal clear: Don’t drink, it will cloud your judgement.



Caterpillars Invade Florida

March 15, 2011 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

“A Florida insect expert said caterpillar infestations have been ‘extra heavy” this year, with many residents calling to complain.

Jane Morse, a University of Florida extension agent based in Pinellas County, said she has been ‘inundated with calls’ about this year’s ‘extra heavy’ presence of caterpillars, the Tampa (Fla.) Tribune reported Tuesday.”

UPI

Caterpillars don’t bit or sting, and they’re kind of cute. I can’t believe that people are complaining about caterpillars, don’t t hey know that they will turn into beautiful butterflies?

The city where I live is infested with stink bugs, now that’s something to complain about. Folks who are up in arms over caterpillars need to get a grip.

Turn on the TV and watch coverage of the unrest in the Middle East and the unfolding tragedy in Japan. Don’t sweat the small stuff!

The Most Incompetent Burglars In Florida

March 15, 2011 by  
Filed under Weird Stuff

Police in Florida said a pair of burglary suspects fled when they saw police, but left behind their vehicle and a driver’s license.


The Ocala Police Department said an alarm was triggered at Horse & Hounds restaurant just after 1:50 a.m. Monday and officers arrived to find a 42-inch flat-screen television had been removed from an outside seating area and was leaning against the outside wall of the eatery, the Ocala Star-Banner reported Tuesday.

Investigators said they found a 2003 Dodge Dakota pickup truck in the parking lot and a driver’s license belonging to Anthony Varnum, 22, was on the ground nearby. Police determined the truck was registered to Varnum.”

UPI

These are the most incompetent burglars in Florida, they didn’t do anything right. One of the thieves should have been in the getaway car ready to take off as soon as possible. Not only did the idiots leave the getaway car unattended, but one of the fools left his driver’s license in the car.

When the police arrived at the scene of the crime, the hapless bad guys should have surrendered knowing that they would be identified by the driver’s license they left in the car.

The bandits decided to run for it, but the idiots stopped to eat at a nearby Burger King where they were nabbed by the cops.

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