“Police in Oregon said a homeless man broke into a fenced-in hot tub and — after about 10 hours in the water — called 911 to ask for a hug and hot chocolate.
Police arrived to find Mark Eskelsen … naked in the hot tub. He was arrested and charged with second-degree criminal trespass and improper use of the 911 system.”
UPI
After breaking into a fenced-in hot tub and marinating for 10 hours doesn’t everyone want to top off the night by getting a hug from a cop and drinking a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows?
This joker will spend a couple of nights in jail, where he won’t get a cup of hot cocoa, but he just might get a hug, and much more than he wants, from a fellow jailbird.
There is no mention in the UPI article if Eskelsen got a hug from the cop, he’s be lucky if he didn’t get a kick in his rear end.
“A British airplane en route to Poland was forced to make an emergency landing in Germany after a 56-year-old woman spilled a hot cup of tea on herself, German police said on Wednesday.
The Ryanair flight from Liverpool to Poznan made the unscheduled landing in the northwestern city of Bremen on Tuesday, local police said.”
Reuters
This is one of the most outrageous stories I have read this year, to make an emergency landing so that a paramedic could treat this clumsy lady with Neosporin is patently ridiculous.
To inconvenience hundreds of passengers because of one clueless passenger boggles the mind. The airline may have avoided a law suit by the clumsy lady, but they risked a riot by disgruntled passengers.
But the airline shares some of the blame, they should never serve hot beverages on a flight.
“An Illinois man who bid $20,000 for ex-Gov. Rod Blagojevich‘s Elvis statue said he was relieved to lose and soon found an identical statue for $550.
However, Bramlett said he was relieved to lose when he discovered he could purchase an identical statue for $550 from a Texas seller and similar statues with different poses for the same price.
Bramlett said his home is now adorned with two of the statues for a total $18,600 less than his bid for Blagojevich’s Elvis.
‘God looked over to me,’ Bramlett said of losing the auction.”
UPI
I wouldn’t pay a dime for a gaudy statue of Elvis Presley that was once owned by a corrupt politician. The idiot who purchased the Blago Elvis statue should bust it open, it might be chock full of illegal campaign funds.
Bramlett must not be married, no woman would allow her husband to “adorn” her house with two Elvis statues.
Bramlett claims that God was looking out for him — Baloney! If God cared about Bramlett he would cure him of his Elvis obsession.
“Police in South Carolina said a burglary suspect was stuck in a grease vent at a restaurant for more than six hours.
North Charleston police said a worker at Shoney’s restaurant called 911 at about 4:47 a.m. Monday and said she heard cries for help upon entering the closed eatery, The (Charleston, S.C.) Post and Courier reported Tuesday.
Police said they discovered Kevin Michael Harley, 23, stuck vertically in a vent above a stove.”
UPI
Police say that the idiot had been stuck for about six hours before the restaurant worker called 911.
The Shoney’s worker who called 911 is a lot more sympathetic and forgiving that I am, I would have pretended that I couldn’t hear him. Not only would I not have called the cops, but I would have turned on the oven.
Harley was wearing socks on his hand to avoid leaving fingerprints. The idiot doesn’t take his profession seriously, he should have been wearing rubber gloves.
The oxygen thief was charged with burglary in the second-degree, it’s too bad he didn’t suffer from second-degree burns.
The sorry excuse for a human being should try an easier heist next time, like taking candy from a baby. He might be able to handle that without screwing it up.
“Filming with animals can be frightening for actors but a man living in a tiny apartment in Tehran with his crocodile, three snakes, an eagle and a miniature monkey says he can help.
‘There are many actors and actresses who are afraid of animals. I try to help them overcome their fears and communicate with animals,’ says Amir Rahbari, a 37-year-old professional trainer who chooses to live among his animals.
In a cramped 20-square-metre (215 sq ft) flat in a tower block in the north of the Iranian capital, Rahbari holds two big pythons around his neck, explaining that, to him, they are family.”
Reuters
In America Rahbari wouldn’t be allowed to keep wild animals in a cramped apartment, that’s nothing less than cruelty to animals. An eagle is a wild animal who roams for miles in search of prey, it’s cruel beyond measure to keep such a majestic bird cooped up inside an apartment.
How can a crocodile possibly be happy confined to a bathtub, there isn’t even enough room for him to swish his tail. I hope that the crocodile takes a bite out of his behind and that the miniature monkey takes a dump on him.
Iran is a backwards country where “animal cruelty” is an unknown concept, and these poor animals are doomed.
“A prisoner who gave police the slip at a north Australian airport and was eventually found drinking beer in a pub said he’d only wanted to see his mother.
Kayd Thorp, 24, took cover in bushland and swam across a Brisbane city creek to dodge search teams in a six-hour manhunt Tuesday which ended when he was discovered having a pint in a local pub.”
AFP
Thorp was drinking a beer in a pub, and not at home having tea with his mother, when he was nabbed by the cops.
A prisoner doesn’t take cover in bushland and swim across a creek for a chance to chat with his mom, but he will do that and much more for a cold one.
It’s unclear whether the thirsty prisoner visited his dear old mother during his six hours of freedom. I doubt it.
Thorp was boarding a flight with police escorts when he gave them the slip, he wasn’t wearing cuffs. Maybe now the cops will handcuff him before he boards a flight to his new prison home.
“A Japanese man has admitted to burning down his family home after his mother threw away some of his favourite robot toys from the ‘Gundam’ animation series.
Yoshifumi Takabe, aged 30 and living with his mother, said he had become suicidal after she dumped some of the robots, of which he had enough to fill 300 boxes stacked to the ceiling, the Sports Nippon said Wednesday.”
UPI
A 30-year-old man should not be living with his mom, unless she is an invalid and he is taking care of her.
A 30-year-old man shouldn’t be playing with robots, unless he created them and plans on making a killing by selling them to kids and young men who don’t have a life and still play with toys.
A 30-year-old man shouldn’t become suicidal because his mom threw away his robots, unless they are collectibles worth millions of bucks.
A 30-year-old man shouldn’t burn down his mom’s house, unless giant robots from Mars have taken refuge there.
A 30-year-old man who lives at home, plays with robots and burns down his mom’s house is better off dead.
“A 79-year-old Wisconsin woman said she used an ice chopper to kill a rattlesnake she discovered on her patio.
Margaret Street, who runs a business out of her Sheboygan home, said she spotted the snake on her patio Aug. 10 and decided to kill it herself when she was unable to contact anyone who could help her, the Sheboygan Press reported Tuesday.
‘I got him right behind the neck,’ she said. “I chopped three times.”
UPI
This woman’s actions weren’t heroic but evil and cowardly. She exclaims with glee: I chopped three times.
A rattlesnake has as much right to live as a 79-year-old lady. Street should have simply used her back door until the snake slithered away.
The woman is lucky the snake didn’t kill her, authorities don’t recommend that anyone try to kill a rattlesnake.
If this old lady is so terrified of snakes, she should move to a big city where no snakes are to be found.
“Police in Florida said a man who allegedly tried to hit four people with his truck and pointed a rifle at another man was angry about an arm wrestling match.
Fort Pierce police said Erick Lee Blanton, 25, challenged another man to an arm wrestling match while visiting a home in the city early Sunday morning and became angry when he lost the contest, TCPalm.com reported Monday.”
UPI
I can understand a person losing a game of checkers, and getting frustrated and upending the checkerboard. But losing an arm wrestling match, and attempting to run down four strangers is insanity.
The madman then pushed the barrel of a rifle against the head of the man who beat him at arm wrestling.
I would advise folks not to play Tiddlywinks or anything else with Blanton, it may be the last game they ever play.
Blanton has been charged with several counts of aggravated assault, and he will no doubt spend the next few years behind bars. All because he lost an arm wrestling match, what a stupid dork.
“A 65-year-old Ohio gas station clerk said an attempted robber turned and walked out of the store when she refused to hand over any money.”
UPI
I would have handed the robber money, cigarettes, beer and anything else he asked for, including the kitchen sink. I would even have offered to gift wrap the money and goodies for him. Heck, it’s not my money, and gas station clerks get paid next to nothing.
The gas station clerk, who asked to remain anonymous, wasn’t intimidated by the 6-foot tall bad guy. The brave (foolhardy?) old woman refused to comply with the robber’s demands, and he walked away without a penny.
The police recommend that tellers and cashiers hand over money to robbers, the clerk is lucky she isn’t resting 6 feet below ground.
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