Dude Blares Porn To Chase Away Little Brats

“Police in suburban Philadelphia say a man (Michael Buck)  fed up of children playing in his cul-de-sac blared a  pornographic soundtrack to chase them off. Irate neighbors told police they could hear the sexually explicit audio a block and a half away.”

The Associated Press

I sympathize with the dude’s desire to chase away the kids; I’d rather have my neighborhood infested with rats than with screaming little brats. However a soundtrack of moaning porn stars might attract rather than repel the little tykes.

But blaring a soundtrack of a porn movie might work to get rid of unwanted party guests. A porn flick’s music is cheesier than a grilled cheese sandwich, and the moans of a porn star are as authentic as Snoop Dogg’s promise to stop smoking weed.

Buck faces felony obscenity charges, but he should also be charged with assault and battery on his neighbors. After a couple of minutes of listening to a pornographic soundtrack as ear-splitting volume, I would chase away the damn kids.

Buck should blare the Barney the Dinosaur theme song, that would really work to rid his cul-de-sac of the little monsters.

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