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Moron Burglar Gets Caught In Hamper

March 16, 2011 by Robert Paul Reyes  
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“A would-be burglar climbed through a window but became stuck in a laundry hamper, Arizona police say.

Michael Trias, 20, was arrested Thursday on suspicion of burglary and criminal damage, Mesa, Ariz., police told the East Valley Tribune of Mesa.


A resident in the bathroom heard the racket, and the owner tackled the suspect and held him until police arrived.“


UPI

Duh! The moron should have made sure the residents weren’t home before he broke in.

What a tool, I hope grandma’s dirty drawers were in the hamper!

I would have closed the lid of the hamper with duct tape with the burglar inside until the cops showed up.

The idiot should learn a new profession while he’s in jail, maybe he can master the art of taking candy from a baby.

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Burglar Leaves “Letter Of Apology” At Scene Of Crime

March 9, 2011 by Robert Paul Reyes  
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“A Philippine thief left a letter of apology at a pawnshop after cleaning out its vaults and making off with more than $16,000 worth of pawned valuables, police said Wednesday.

Detectives were hunting for a former employee of the Del Madel pawnshop, whose staff discovered the break-in when they returned to work on Monday, along with the letter, said provincial police chief Cornelio Defensor.”

AFP

The thief’s letter is a taunt rather than a letter of apology. If the burglar was really remorseful he would have walked out of the pawn shop without taking any valuables with him.

However the letter of apology isn’t totally useless, perhaps the thief left his fingerprints on the letter or maybe the cops can identify the thief by the handwriting.

When the burglar sells the stolen goods I bet he will feel a hell of a lot more joy than remorse.


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Naked Burglar Found In School

March 2, 2011 by Robert Paul Reyes  
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“Police in Georgia said a man arrested while allegedly burglarizing a school was naked, apparently because he couldn’t fit into a vent while wearing his clothes.

The Covington Police Department said officers were joined by the K-9 Unit, Newton County sheriff’s deputies and Covington Fire Department firefighters in searching Cousins Middle School when the security system was triggered about 3:30 a.m. Saturday, the Newton Citizen, Covington, reported Tuesday.

Investigators said Ronald Stephens, 21, was found after a 2 1/2 hour search, naked and hiding in the ceiling of the building.”

UPI

After searching for the loser for over two hours the cops were probably in a very bad mood. The police officers should be commended for their restraint; I would have set the dog loose on the naked criminal.

It’s bad enough that Stephens was caught red-handed, but the idiot was caught butt-naked as well.

The sorry excuse for a human being was charged with burglary, he should have been charged with public indecency as well.

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Burglar Stuck In Grease Vent For Six Hours

August 31, 2010 by Robert Paul Reyes  
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“Police in South Carolina said a burglary suspect was stuck in a grease vent at a restaurant for more than six hours.

 
North Charleston police said a worker at Shoney’s restaurant called 911 at about 4:47 a.m. Monday and said she heard cries for help upon entering the closed eatery, The (Charleston, S.C.) Post and Courier reported Tuesday.
 
Police said they discovered Kevin Michael Harley, 23, stuck vertically in a vent above a stove.”
 
UPI
 
Police say that the idiot had been stuck for about six hours before the restaurant worker called 911.
 
The Shoney’s worker who called 911 is a lot more sympathetic and forgiving that I am, I would have pretended that I couldn’t hear him. Not only would I not have called the cops, but I would have turned on the oven.
 
Harley was wearing socks on his hand to avoid leaving fingerprints. The idiot doesn’t take his profession seriously, he should have been wearing rubber gloves.
 
The oxygen thief was charged with burglary in the second-degree, it’s too bad he didn’t suffer from second-degree burns.
 
The sorry excuse for a human being should try an easier heist next time, like taking candy from a baby. He might be able to handle that without screwing it up.
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Idiot Burglar Drops Cellphone, Cops Use Phone To Call His Mom

August 20, 2010 by Robert Paul Reyes  
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“Police in Georgia said they used a cellphone left behind at the scene of an elementary school burglary to call the suspect’s mother.
 
Athens-Clarke police said officers responding to an 11:25 p.m. burglar alarm at Howard B. Stroud Elementary School in Athens saw a man drop his cellphone while fleeing the building, the Athens Banner-Herald reported Thursday.”
 
UPI
 
The cops called a number on his cell phone labeled “mom”, and the mother gave the police all the dirt on her criminal offspring. She told the cops she had kicked the bum out of her house because he was a thief, and she he let them know where they could find the little creep.
 
I”m sure the cops wish every case were this easy to solve, but not all criminals are idiots.
 
This mother did the right thing by not coddling or protecting her criminal son, too many parents make excuses for their rotten children.
 
The thief won’t be able to call his mother when he’s in prison and a huge con wants to get really friendly with him.

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Burglar Robs Same House Twice In Hours

September 1, 2009 by Robert Paul Reyes  
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“A bold burglar in Pensacola wasn’t about to let a little thing like the police stop him from finishing the job.
Steve Fluegge said when he went downstairs Friday morning he was shocked to find a burglar in his living room. Startled, the burglar took off with some valuables in hand as Fluegge called the police. Fluegge said the burglar stole his wallet, watch and video game system.  He also noticed his 42-inch plasma TV was in the backyard where the burglar had left it. 

About three hours later, the burglar reportedly returned and stole the TV as a police investigator was in the home processing the scene.”

 
A job is not worth doing, if it’s not done well. I commend the burglar for dedication to this profession, he is a sterling role model for burglars everywhere. The homeowner startled the burglar and prevented him from taking all the goods he coveted, so he returned  a short while later to finish the job.
 
Let’s hope that the police have the good worth ethic of the burglar, and don’t rest until they find him.
 
I hope the homeowner has a good homeowner’s insurance policy, he can’t depend on the hapless police to protect him.

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